Max came home two hours ago moving like a robot. He had been at the gym for a one-day trial. He took a shower and fell fast asleep, face down, on the bed. While he was sleeping, I concocted a plate of healthy sandwiches and opened a bottle of wine.
I was on the terraza. Max, still in his bathrobe, staggered toward me holding on to the columns. “I never realized how big the terraza is. It’s torture crossing it, like crossing the Grand Canyon.”
I put my Kindle down and clicked it off. The peaceful afternoon was over. Max had suffered and I knew he would relate every excruciating detail.
The peaceful afternoon was over. Max had suffered and I knew he would relate every excruciating detail.
I reached into the cooler next to me, pulled out the chilled bottle and poured the wine. I held my glass up. “Here’s to brave Max. It must have been grueling. Sit down and tell me about it.”
He plopped into his chair, a pained expression on his face. His arms flopped over the chair’s, his legs splayed out. “Every muscle in my body hurts.” He downed a couple of sips. “That trainer at the gym is not a trainer. He’s a masochist.”
“What did he make you do?”
“He had me warming up first, bending over to touch fingertips to toes. But I was afraid to stretch too far.”
“How far did you get?”
“To my knees.”
“The more you stretch, the more agile you get.”
“I’ll never be as agile as a gazelle.”
“You don’t have to be. You don’t live in Africa.”
“Then, he had me lifting weights.”
“How many pounds?”
I lifted an eyebrow.
“Don’t look at me like that. They were a very heavy two pounds.”
I stifled a snicker. “That’s like lifting a large can of peas.”
“He had me lift, two times on the right, two times on the left. Look,” he said, raising his arms. “My arms are still trembling from exertion.”
“I see. That must have been painful.”
“Then he had me climb the Alps!”
“You went to Switzerland? That’s why you were gone for four hours?” I nodded. “That explains it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Sylvia. It was one of those treadmill torture machine things with an incline. He made me run until I was dizzy with exhaustion!”
“How long were you on it?”
“Ten torturous minutes.”
“ At least 100 miles per hour.”
“What number on the incline?”
“The small window said 3 and the highest is 12 but I don’t believe those machines are calibrated well. I know it was much, much higher!”
I coughed to cover a laugh. “You’re a champion.”
Max took another sip. “Next, Mr. Masochist had me doing crunches.” His eyes looked heavenward. “Ten crunches! It was a nightmare.” He massaged his sides. “I’ll hurt for days.”
He sat back, a look of pure torment on his face. “Please don’t make me go back there! It’s like a chamber of horrors. The Inquisition pales compared to that gym!”
“Max, my Brave One, rest for a few minutes. I’ve made some tasty, healthy sandwiches for us to enjoy with the wine. I’ll be right back.”
I trotted to the kitchen and headed straight for the fluffy hand towel into which I buried my face and let out a huge guffaw.
My Max! Drama King!
Having recovered from my fit of laughter, I walked back to the terraza, carrying the plate of sandwiches – chicken and avocado roll ups with garlicky light mayo, lemony salmon in lettuce wraps, grilled veggies on whole grain bread with mustard vinaigrette.
Max looked at the sandwiches. “I’m too weak to eat.”
“Try. For me. Must keep up your strength.”
He sniffed. “Well …… for you, my dear.” He reached for a sandwich and delicately nibbled. “Mmmmmm …. tasty.” He took another sip of wine. “I think I’m beginning to recover.”
“There, there. You’ll be fine in the morning and you’ll decide if going to the gym is good for you.”
He looked up at me. “Will you meet me with wine and sandwiches after every workout?”
I put my hand on his. “We’ll do whatever it takes, Max dear!”
GENTLE READERS – Thanks for tuning in to Sylvia this week! I appreciate my words being read more than I can express. If you want to support my efforts for bringing a chuckle or two into your day, please subscribe and tell those you know about me and my journal. Don’t forget about the chimneysweep, the manicurist, the dog groomer. My presence in the publishing world will be enhanced by your subscription! I thank you in advance. – Have a lovely Wednesday!